In near-primordial times, when Proto-Indo-European was spoken in the majority of Europe, the primitive word men emerged. It is not by the current definition you know today; it's not even connected. Rather, it meant "to think" and gradually became standardized, by troglodytian terms. This eventually splintered into the Proto-Italic word moneo, which meant "warning", an understandable change in definition. This passed into Latin as "advise", and a conjugated form of that was moneta, or "advisor". This was then used as a title of respect for the Roman version of the Greek goddess Hera, Juno Moneta (literally: "Juno the advisor"). The Romans crafted a lot of their coins in the temples of the gods, especially Hera's, so moneta metynomically got applied to "money". This later became the French word monoie, which became the English word money, both with the current definition. If you know any "financial" "advisors", please laugh now.
Adam Aleksic, a rising sophomore studying linguistics and government at Harvard University, has been described as the internet's sixth most famous etymologist. He also has disturbing interests in politics, vexillology, geography, board games, conlanging, and law.